Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Very Funny & True

  • School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
  • Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

  • Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
  • Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
  • Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
  • Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
  • Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  • Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  • Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
  • Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
  • Father: A banker provided by nature. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
  • Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

  • Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
  • Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
  • Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

  • Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  • Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  • Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  • Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  • Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
  • Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death

Frederic Davis (Kean Inc.)